Yes, I am a revert. I haven't been a practicing Muslim for several years since my Divorce. I don't perform Salaah like I should, but I still don't eat pork and I still say Al Fatiha often. I had a difficult time ajusting to the routine of Salaah and my ex-wife wasn't supportive. I need to start Salaah again, I know.
And may I ask if you are a revert?
Thank you for taking the time to ask and converse.
Im not a revert, im a born muslim alhamdulillah but i didnt practice my religion until about 7 years ago and hardly knew anything about my religion so in a sense i guess i have a lot in common with reverts
I used to find salah hard as well at first, especially fajr. I remember i used to pray the other 4 but couldnt wakeup for fajr so i would pray that qadha. Then i would pray it on weekends because you get to sleep in abit so its not so tough and slowly your body gets accustomed to it and its not difficult anymore
Ramadhan is coming up soon inshAllah we can beneft from it and use it to rectify ourselves
p.s i think this is the longest reply i have ever written on DA
I feel honored that you'd write me the longest reply ever! I don't have a problem with getting up early, I do that most days. I just find it hard to either get to a masjid to pray or to find a place to pray when I'm not at home.
I went through a terrible divorce 4 years ago and I became very depressed and angry. I stopped praying when I should have prayed more. I started questioning everything in my life, including Islam. I never lost faith in Allah, I don't think anything would every make me do that, but I did question wether the requiremets of Islam really mattered, if they really made a difference in my life.
But, Allah was merciful and let me keep my children and sent me a new wife who is wonderful and loving and good to me and my children. I always thank Allah every day for everything he's given me.
I'm still searchcing for answers, but isn't that what the Quran tells us to do? It says that if we search everywhere in universe we can't help but finally realize that Allah exists and the beauty of his creation.
I've been reading a lot about physics, especially quatum physics, and what I read just makes me realize that Allah has created an incredibly complex, beautiful universe and that science finally does find the final theory of evereything that they've been looking for, the will realize that Allah is the creator and will worship him.
Alhamdulillah that Allah replaced your loss with something better
I think most people have phases of low imaan, especially when we are going through hardships. I know what you mean about the questioning, its like when something bad happens to you and things don't go the way you would have liked you start feeling like your prayers were not answered.
After the initial shock of the hardship when my head is a bit clearer i realize that no matter what happens its still Allah being merciful in some form. My thoughts about hardships are;
1. What we consider good for ourselves is not necessarily what is best for us, like Allah says in the Quran. "..it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know."
2. Allah is putting me through hardships as a form of punishment. But this is also a mercy because the prophet SAW said: "This people of mine is one to which mercy is shown. It will have no punishment in the next world, but its punishment in this world will be trials, earthquakes and being killed." The Punishment of this world is far less than the punishment of the next world. So even if Allah is punishing me He is also showing me His mercy because the punishment will expiate my sins insha'Allah
3. Sometimes Allah tests us to raise our status in the next life, He wants us to be patient during our trails and keep turning back to him and we can't achieve such a status through our good deeds alone.
4. Maybe Allah has taken something from me or not granted me what i wanted because i don't deserve it.
I'm not the most religious person, far from it. I know i have a long way to go to be where i want to be. Im not all that great with self belief either, i feel like i can never reach that standard but i don't leave my salah and i hope i never do because i feel depressed not praying, i can't really explain it but it gives me a sense of purpose.
The whole earth has been made a place of worship so you can pray wherever you like
Try and start praying again this Ramadhan and see how it goes inshaAllah